Sunday, December 28, 2008

A quick update...

Happy Holidays everyone!

It's been a while but here I am. I have to go soon so I must be brief. We've been doing a good deal of brainstorming and outlining for JCPD, and we've begun to script it just a few days ago. We've got some plans and a possible connection to John Travolta. Anyhow, all that aside, we're also working on figuring out a good way to get DVDs out to the people.

Keep it real homeskillets,
Kevin Cole

In the mean time, why not give this old gem a watch...

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Let the Pre-production begin!

Hello readers!
Today Brad, Shane, and Myself met together to begin pre-production for our latest project, JCPD. That's all I will say about the project itself for now. But we've started a basic scene outline, I'll post a censored pic when I can find dad's camera. But as far as brainstorming down we made a good deal of progress, and I have about an hour and a half of audio from the event. Can you hear it? NOT YET! But once the project has been filmed and is in post-production, you'll find the audio from our pre-production meetings as a podcast series on itunes (I have to figure out how to do that first).

But be patient, and you'll see how this project came to be.

Yours until later,
Kevin Cole

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

The Miracle Worker at LHS

Hello everyone,
It's been a while sense our last update, we've been working on things, and by things, I mean the title of this post. All of our official members are involved with the show, and the show's program has our very first advert. I decided to invest $15 and get the word out. So I think it's only fair I do likewise and say, "Hey come see The Miracle Worker at LHS from November 20th-23rd (with 2pm matinees on Saturday and Sunday).

As for scripting, Brad and I have been tossing back and forth some ideas for JCPD, but nothing has been done officially. So what are we going to do with our nice Thanksgiving break? Well we're setting aside a whole to meet up, brainstorm, and get a good deal into a first draft... Oh and then have some more people over to watch Tropic Thunder (The Directors Cut). I'm investing in a professional panasonic camera, and such. We've got things down my friends.

Your until later,
Kevin Cole

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Here it is...

See more funny videos at Funny or Die

I was considering writing more about it, but I need sleep. So watch and maybe I'll fill you in later...

Yours until later,
Kevin Cole

Monday, November 3, 2008

The 2008 Presidential Elections

Hello everyone,

Tomorrow is the presidential election (by the time you read this it will be today).  We can't take an official stance to grab votes that suit our liberal agenda...  Why is that?  because one fourth of the team has his own conservative agenda (see his campaign ad now!).  

Anyhow, tomorrow begins our most ambitious piece since Rope (not as ambitious, but the past 2 haven't quite been at that same level).  We're filming at a school (but no guns this time), on election day!  I've checked all polling place rules and regulations, and everything should be fine, not a single rule about filming outside the polling place.  And we're not electioneering, but to stay on the safe side we won't be crossing the 100 feet line.

So why find out how the election ends from CNN or NBC, when you can tune in right here, or at and find out how everyone voted and who one.  Seriously though, do it that way, I'll be up until at least 1 AM on the 5th ... (Thanks Alaska).

Yours until later,
Kevin Cole
"Bunch of savages in this town." -Dante Hicks (Clerks)

Thursday, October 16, 2008

McCain/French 2008

See more funny videos at Funny or Die

I wrote this short within the first month of school starting.  And needless to say it was more topical then.  But I think it still holds it's own today.

This short has gone through numerous ups and downs, beginning with it's creation, I wrote maybe 2 or 3 drafts before McCain introduced Palin.  However I was able to make it work.   The main issue was filming over time, which works for most projects, but is more of a pain with something as topical as this.  We eventually got all the scenes finished with the exception of one in which Danny prevents an abortion.  Hospital looking rooms are hard to find, and once we did we couldn't rally the troupes to film it.  So in the end Danny and I looked over what you see now and decided it would be best to use this and get it out before it was pushed back any further.  Luckily for you, you can enjoy the abortion scene in it's final written form.

There you go.  I hope you've all enjoyed this one.  More to come soon.

Also, I'd like to couple this new short with the announcement of the TOTALLY ILLOGICAL FILMS STORE over at cafepress.  Where you can find our first official T-shirt, with a nice Stanley Kubrick quote on the back.

Yours until later,
Kevin Cole

"There is no fighting in the war room!"-Dr. Strangelove Or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

I'll Bring My Own Rope: The "Huggable" Version

In honor of I'll Bring My Own Rope achieving 100 views on Funny Or Die, I have decided to gift you all with the "Huggable Version." The Film was a school project from the start but we neglected to film alternate clean scenes from the original film, (with the exception of 2 scenes). So I was up the night before it was due until 10:30 cutting out the language and putting in appropriate language (which is really hard with iMovie). Anyway please enjoy the version Brad and Shane's history class saw... I'll Bring My Own Rope: The "Huggable" Version
See more funny videos at Funny or Die

Now if you'll excuse me I have a debate to watch.

Yours until later,
Kevin Cole

"It's totally dark in here!"- Halloween

Sunday, October 5, 2008

JCPD its like 2:45 in the morning and I (Brad) have just finished viewing a clockwork orange, which was a ridiculously awesome movie. anyway, i recently finished a rough sketch of JCPD (Jesus Christ Police Department). T.I. Films has been turning this idea over in our heads for like 2 months and its finally started to come together. So i'd just like to let any T.I. Films fans know that we are in fact going to be releasing another full-fledged film (constructed better than "Rope") in the months to come...hopefully by ?December?


Saturday, October 4, 2008


Here it is, not what I've been talking about for the past month, but something I was able to make in a short time.  And get things done without a need for costumes or sets, just people.

See more funny videos at Funny or Die

So there you go... Register to Vote (if you can).  And tell others about this too.

On a side note, as of today (Oct 4, 2008) I am 18 years of age...  Woo!  I'd like to thank everyone who's wished me a happy birthday on this fine day, Thanks you guys!

Yours until later,
Kevin Cole

Friday, September 19, 2008

Yargg! It be a day to film!

Today, Daniel and I filmed 4 mooore scenes for the new short!  It won't belong before it's complete.  Me hearties and I must complete 2 more scene, wrap up the post production, and then we're good.

Also today is Talk Like a Pirate Day:

Yours Until Later,
Kevin Cole

"Me No Rikey!" -The Onion Movie

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Cheech and Chong

In my humble opinion, one of the funniest live shows I've seen thus far.  And it's their first time back together since the 80s, so why not write about it.

We'd arrive at the theater by 9:30, just in time to catch the 10:00 show.  Aside from the crowds we checked out the souvenir shop, where I'd buy a beanie, and a "Cheech and Chong For President" shirt, with tour dates on the back.  While Brad picked up a Tye-dye shirt with the tour design (seen below).  Somehow Brad made it through the school day with out being told to take it off, at least the pot leaf on my shirt was discrete.  

Anyhow, the show started maybe 15-20 minutes late, I don't know why but it.  The opener was Shelby Chong, who mostly talked about how she met Cheech and Chong, and told the story about how Chong was arrested.  Then she went on to talk about how pot helps when you're PMSing, and then she let the whole audience yell "Bitches!" as loud as we could.  It was the opener, and was good, but no where near the greatness that would follow.

Cheech would take the stage.  The show opened with him and Chong recreating the beginning of Up In Smoke.  They didn't use any props throughout the show, so the giant joint, or any joint was pantomimed.  And they added some new jokes to the opening so it wasn't entirely the same as what we've seen before, but it was hilarious none the less.  In between sketches Chong would often come out and do a little stand up while Cheech got ready for the next scene.  They brought back some old sketches and bring some new ones, Dave wasn't there (literally, they didn't bring it back) but they did make a dope deal.
They gave us a glimpse at the first Mexican in space.  So many great sketches, they brought back Blind Melon Chitlin, Alice Bowie, and my personal favorite, the elderly couple in the porno theater.

And at the end when all was said and done they did a sing-along to the Up In Smoke theme, which just brought a smile to my face.  It was a great way to end the night.

In the end it was a great night, my cheeks were sore by the end (did I already say that?)  If you can catch them in tour I advise you to do so.  Also, might I add that Shelby Chong hinted that they were thinking about doing another movie.

Photo Credits to Richard Cole, also the man who bought the tickets that we paid him back for.

Yours Until Later,
Kevin Cole

"Yar Har Fiddle Dee Dee, If you like to sail the sea, you are a pirate" -Lazy Town

Saturday, September 13, 2008

The Big Trip...

Today 3/4ths of the team will be heading out to the Warner Theater to catch CHEECH AND CHONG LIVE, for the first time since the 80s.  My dad will be accompanying us.  And hopefully we'll catch those 2 at the stage door after the show.

Also in the midst of all this confusion and natural disasters I'd like to add that the end of mankind gives me a hadron (get it)

Yours until later,
Kevin Cole

Sunday, September 7, 2008

In a Brief Lapse Of Reason...

Production has begun on the short mentioned in the below post.  I still won't say what it is...

But that's the heads up it's begun, and it's the First project I've done that wasn't filmed in a day.

Yours until later,
Kevin Cole


Friday, September 5, 2008

Herro weekend...

I believe it's time to make an announcement...

The past 2 weeks we have been in the pre-production area for a new short, one which should go into production sometime this weekend.  I won't say what it is, but I will say it's political.  So you can expect a new short soon-ish.  I would also like to add that there are 2 other projects in the early pre-production area (the scripting hasn't even begun yet).  But, we're talking two full length (?) action comedies.  

That's the magical announcement this week, hopefully the Second Annual Movie, Board Game Night will occur either tomorrow night, or Sunday.

In the mean time please watch this video, it's not us, but we do quote it a lot...

See more Danny McBride videos at Funny or Die

Yours until later,
Kevin Cole

"Do you think I'm cute, Private Pyle? Do you think I'm funny?" -Full Metal Jacket

Sunday, August 31, 2008

The First Annual Board Game, Movie Night!

There we were, isolated in Danny's basement from the hours of 6:30 to 10:30.

I arrived a little later, as I needed to print out a script and prepare the camera incase we did any shooting (we didn't except for the video below, but nothing official).  

We started off the night by watching Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, which was quite a nice movie.  Then we played some Scattergories.  Now I bet you're thinking why not brainstorm, well board games are brainstorming for cool kids.  Playing creative games that stimulate the mind create some pretty humorous situations.  I'd give examples of the nights events, but I think I'll skip it incase we decide to use any of the events that popped up.

Yours until later,
Kevin Cole

"There he goes. One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die." -Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas 

A Special Thanks

To those of you who avoided Disaster Move, it opened in 6th in the Box Office (Halet 2 wasn't in the top 10, which is a shame, we saw it and it was hillarious).  Hopefully Disaster Movie will be out of the top 10 by the end of the next weekend.  hopefully word will spread that it's #1 on IMDB's bottom 100 films (ever)

But don't stop there, from what I've heard there's a Scary Movie 5 coming out this fall (you have to be an IMDBpro to see the page).  Either way, don't see that either.  

One day, something sweet will happen,

Kevin Cole

Friday, August 29, 2008

An open letter to movie goers...

Dear movie goers of this day,
Today marks to opening of, need I say, the disaster of another Friedburg/Seltzer "movie".  And from the looks of it we've reached an all time low in the movie industry.  In case you haven't noticed these guys have an AWFUL follow up in the critics corner, and AWFUL follow up from the people who've seen the films.  The trailer's not funny, and I can GUARANTEE the movie's even worse.  Please I beg of you, skip this movie and save your self 10 dollars and an hour and a half of your life.  Why does this even exist I wonder?  Because people went to see Meet the Spartans, and it grossed over 8 million, Hopefully those of you have learned your lesson.  There's plenty of better films out already, and if you really want to see a movie, see one you haven't or re-watch one.  DON'T go to see Disaster movie.  Here, have a review based on the trailer ( I really like this guys reviews by the way),

In his review of "Sex Drive" which went up yesterday, he said he was seeing the midnight showing of Disaster Movie, but he wasn't paying because he had a free pass for a movie.  Well he has yet to post the review, and I'm worried this movie killed him.  Kinda like the lady who had a heart attack during The Passion Of The Christ and died (too soon?  I think not).  If it didn't kill him when the review goes up, I'll post it.

So I continue to beg you, DON'T SEE DISASTER MOVIE!!!  I said that the Plot of Death Race was in the title (Death Race, that's the plot).  Well the review for Disaster Movie is also in the title.

Don't See Disaster Movie,
Kevin Cole.
PS. DON'T!!!
PPS.  I know for a fact the entire crew agrees with me on this one.

Tuesday, August 26, 2008


Welcome to the Official blog of Totally Illogical Films.  Here you will find the bloggings of Totally Illogical Films, find out what's up, and stay up to date on the movies.

Originally, I had planned to make this a Word Press page, but Word Press won't let us embed Funny or Die videos, and we've decided to really pull for that site above Youtube or Myspace.  (sorry wordpress, you have many advantages, but lacked one we really needed).

So here it is, the blog of Totally Illogical Films, a film "company" based in Frederick, MD currently with 4 main members...
  • Kevin Cole
  • Brad Rosen
  • Danny French
  • Shane Anderson
So sit back, read up, and watch some movies, you won't be disappointed.  So below we have our two existing films...

I'll Bring My Own Rope (uncut)
See more funny videos at Funny or Die
Heroin... It's Just Bad
See more funny videos at Funny or Die

So, there you have it, if you laughed please be so kind as to click vote (the blue button in the lower right hand corner, and select funny).  Okay, the page cuts off about 90% of the VOTE button, but you can still get it, just look for a little bit of blue off to the lower right.  If you can't find it, click on the video and goto and vote there.

Don't call me shirley,
Kevin Cole.